by Diana Lu

EXCERPT //

In September 2020, my beloved 14-year-old pit bull had a mast cell tumor. We couldn’t know if it was cancerous until after the vet removed it. I tried to mentally prepare for the worst, the choices I may have to make.

She’ll die and I can’t live alone, especially in the winter.

I will make the wrong decision and I know it, but I won’t be strong enough to make the most humane one.

I tormented myself and wept over sad pet cartoons.

I won’t be allowed to say goodbye at the last moment; she will be in a sterile vet office without me.

The idea of isolation during Covid without her made me crumple. Our walks forced me to venture outside in a scary and confusing time.

I will gain weight and rarely leave the house.

These were things I whispered to myself, in my darkness and fear of the unknown. What would it be like to be depressed, shivering, and living alone in January? When could I be hugged by a friend again? Could I survive it? I wasn’t alone.

A UK study published by the Public Library of Science (PLOS) examined how connecting with animals during lockdown affected our mental health and loneliness; 91.2 percent of dog owners and 89.3 percent of cat owners stated that their animal helped them cope emotionally with the stress of the pandemic. What’s more, 99.6 percent of dog owners and 98.4 percent of cat owners reported that, “I can’t imagine being without my animal at this time.”

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CONSTELLATIONS // Our Pampered Roommates