RECOMMENDATION // NATIONAL SECURITY THROUGH UNITY
Loving our Neighbors
Does a successful American experiment depend on empathy?
by Lauren Earline Leonard
EXCERPT //
Many of us associate empathy with the act of putting ourselves in the shoes of another. Ideos takes the metaphor a step further: It’s not just walking a mile in said shoes, but making sure the other person has a well-fitting pair of shoes, a pair that might even be more supportive, comfortable, or nicer than your own. Empathy occurs cognitively—recognizing we’re wearing different shoes; relationally—asking about the other person’s shoes and the path they walk; and, according to Ideos, spiritually/morally—being so moved as to act on behalf of someone else, i.e., buying them new shoes. In Ideos parlance, as instructed by scripture, this is summed up as “counting our neighbors—no matter how strange or different—more significant than ourselves.”
Vines comes to the work influenced by her faith and with an understanding of how our affiliations and neurological wiring influence where we position ourselves in and outside of culture and society. She knows that we empathize most easily with those who look and act like we do. Engaging in a conversation with empathetic intelligence means considering what the person opposite us at the table, polling location, school board meeting, picket line, or elsewhere is seeing, hearing, saying, doing, thinking, feeling, and—ultimately—needing. The best way to get to know Ideos is to watch their hourlong documentary film, Dialogue Lab: America, which brings together twelve Americans from across the ideological spectrum to talk about the 2016 presidential election, abortion, government, guns, policing, race, vaccinations, and other topics you’ve been deftly avoiding at family functions for some years now.
The film debuted this year as part of the National Day of Dialogue, an initiative of Ideos that brought together a coalition of organizations working to build a movement of empathy and action through virtual events, social media campaigns, and resource-sharing. Vines acknowledged some casting challenges. Filming took place in Los Angeles during the Covid-19 pandemic and participants were required for insurance purposes to be vaccinated. Both location and pandemic requirements resulted in a smaller pool of conservative thinkers.
As the twelve progress through the workshop, we witness handshakes, hugs, and laughter along with long pauses, deep sighs, raised eyebrows, and conflict. “If we had someone stand up and walk away,” Vines narrates, “that would be a failure.”
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